Her Image vs. Our Reality

For my last post .. I'll let the video speak for itself.

All I can say is... Your reality is NEVER the same as anyone else's.

And I'm not joking when I say ... VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.



She's so damn beautiful ...

And just remember ... no one can break you ... but yourself.

Hey Little Sister, What have you done?

"White Wedding" by Billy Idol.
- His most famous song.
- His most famous video.
- His most controversial ever.

Watch ...




Read ...

Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who's the only one
Hey little sister who's your superman
Hey little sister who's the one you want
Hey little sister shot gun!

It's a nice day to start again
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who's the only one
I've been away for so long (so long)
I've been away for so long (so long)
I let you go for so long

It's a nice day to start again (come on)
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

(Pick it up)

Take me back home
There is nothin' fair in this world
There is nothin' safe in this world
And there's nothin' sure in this world
And there's nothin' pure in this world
Look for something left in this world
Start again
Come on

It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again


Now Choose ...

1. Incest.
2. Pregnancy.
3. Marrying a black man.

... I obviously highlighted my choice.

My brother knows better.

Ball and Chain

Right off the bat, I guarantee there are two different points of view of this picture... that of a guy, and the other of a girl. Because no matter what your point of view is, if you're a girl, it definitely isn't the same view of a guy, no matter which one of you thinks the rings are beautiful. The same thing happens when the thing those rings represent is mentioned - marriage.

I sometimes believe that marriage is the most controversial thing in the world, more than where you go to college or how much money you make, sometimes even more than if you have a child or not. It's sad that the most beautiful and sacred thing in life is look upon so negatively. There's even a name for this negative outlook on marriage ... ball and chain.

To me, being married isn't being "tied down" or having a ball and chain, but sharing everything about myself with another person. On the outside, to someone not married, marriage can look like just that, a burden, something that drags them down; but in reality, marriage is the opposite of that. Being married is being free, it's allowing you to be so vulnerable that you let another person see every single part of you, allowing them to become a part of you.

People seem to be so against young marriage, because they say it won't work out, they said that there's "more life to live." But the best way I can think of to counteract those claims is that when you look at the marriages that have lasted 30, 40, even 50+ years, if you ask them when they got married, most of the time, they were barely adults - 17, 18, 19, 21. So sorry haters, your "there's no such thing as young (and true) love" theory isn't all that truthful. I revealed that I have 2 boys, and that I'm engaged. I'm 18, and will probably be married before I can legally drink the Champagne I toast with at my wedding.

I believe that I've found the person I am meant to be with, and the fun thing is, he's been there all along. If you believe in that little thing called fate, then you believe that things are the way they are because that's the way they are meant to be. I had a crush on Joey (my fiancé) since I was probably in the 3rd grade, and something always told me as I grew up that I wanted to be with him, and of course - I wanted him to be with nobody but me. And it worked out for me, fate brought us together, fate brought us the boys, and fate will bring us our marriage - of course we make the decisions on all the details, but in the end, things will end up exactly the way they should be - and I don't believe that he is my ball and chain, and I'm certainly not his. Marriage, or any relationship for that matter is about give and take, understanding as well as head-butting, but it's not about limiting the other person, and it never will be. The day that marriage becomes that is the day it ends in that ugly mess of papers and lawyers called divorce.

When people try and find a mate, they seem to never act for love - which no matter what today's society says, is the basis of all relationships especially marriage. People look for a mate the way they look for a job, or a college - what do they look like? How much will they pay me/I pay them? Do they have a bright future? A good background? A good name? Wake up people!! This isn't 1840 - in the USA arranged marriages are a thing of the past, and marrying for money is a completely vapid and despicable choice. In today's day in age, a person can be who they want to be, with a partner or without. A mate should help, not hinder, and should be chosen for the right reasons, those that compliment you and them. For all of you that think I'm crazy and think that you can "learn" to love someone... good luck. Oh, and that whole "I can change him/her" thing ... not exactly the brightest idea.

Love someone for who they are. Marry someone because you want to .. not because anyone else tells you to. Life is for the taking ... and so are all the singles.

Lastly - look down and tell me ... which picture is "right?"







Who's the real ball and chain?


Do you have one?

Got Ink?

So here's an update on my reality ... even though my boys are my life, I guess you could call them my soft spot, but the truth is, I have some distinctively rough edges. It's funny because people tend to only see me as one sided, and like I've said before, they are quick to stereotype. Especially people that know me as the blonde cheerleader with a big heart ... they tend to look at me strange when they climb in my car, turn on the radio and here Nine Inch Nails or Disturbed playing. That's right, I'm a rocker, a hard rocking, tattoo and piercing loving, moshing, screaming rock chick.

See the thing about me is, once I find something I love, I get a little obsessed with it. And once I realized that rock was my style, the whole lifestyle took over well, my life. I fell into the trap of loving everything it encompasses, from the living on the edge-screw you attitude to the clothes and like I said ... the tattoos and piercings. For as long as anyone can remember, hard rock and body mods have gone together like electric guitar and power bass. But unfortunately so have the negative views, the no-no pointing fingers, and the dirty looks.

Let's see what you think .. this video was taken at by far my favorite concert I've been to - Rock the Ink 2008, a music festival incorporating the Inked out and the Rocked out with over 35 bands in 3 days. It's representing a culture... so view it with open eyes, and enjoy Godsmack's "I Stand Alone" in the background.



I'm not going to even say what I think about the video, because honestly, I think I'm done with trying to convince people that "my music" isn't just about sex and violence, I'm done with trying to convince people that tattoos aren't disfigurements and piercings aren't just holes. All I know is that what can be so bad about something that SO many people flock to, that so many people participate in? I personally love seeing art on another person's body, trust me, a tattoo a great conversation piece.

Not all people with tattoos are big and scary, burly and motorcycle riding, and they definitely aren't like Joe from the interview we read. They are just people who love personal expression, and in a "free" world, what's wrong with that? I have a tattoo, I have a handful or more of piercings, and trust me, they're addicting - and remember, I'm not a leather wearing, chain hording goth chick am I? My "rough" edges are a part of me, they make me who I am, and I could go on and on and on about how much I love tattoos, rock music, and screw you attitudes, but it's all in your perception - I can't change your mind, even if I try. Let's just say, I wish I could sketch better, or else I'd be putting ink to skin instead of ink to paper =)

So to cut myself off and make a point, I'll just leave it at ...

Perception

150 dollar boots ...






... or child's play thing?


YOU DECIDE.

The Weekend

As I sit trying to figure out what my three year old did with his pants, simultaneously I wonder how many of you knew that I even have pairs of 2T and 4T pants to constantly track down. Those pairs of pants represent my boys, the sparkle to each of my eyes, Caleb Michael, 4, and Tyler Zachary, 3. As I sit with fiancé on the couch (after finding Tyler's disappearing pants) I wonder how many of you know where I go when I myself disappear on the weekends... and I think, how many of you, if you did know about my boys and my weekends, would view my reality as something completely other than what is real.

Maybe you don't know because I don't enjoy being judged, and I say that because I know when people judge me, it's always negatively. It's especially hard to deal with peoples glares and prejudice thoughts when I personally love my life and all that is included with it, no regrets and no mistakes. You can think what you want, but I wish you would have the courage to come and ask me first... instead of the eyes burning a hole through me and instead of the racing negative comments, come and ask me about me, before you actually pass a judgment on me.



Having two toddlers isn't everybody's first thought when they think of a freshman girl at Wheaton College, but I ask, Why not? Diversity is pushed down our throats, our school even has a pre-orientation for multi-cultural students, and many colleges, ours included, thrive off of the right to say that X amount of its student body is "diverse." But is the definition of diversity only physical, sexual, and religious diversity? Social class even? Why is it that mothers, husbands, wives, fiancés, widows, widowers - don't seem to "count" in this "broad" definition of diversity? Oh, I get it, maybe because you have to go through college first, get a job first, live life first, before you ever even think about becoming any of those things. I'm sorry, but if what I am doesn't constitute as being a "good representation" of a diverse human being or even a diverse student, then I say screw diversity. I don't want to be a statistic anyway.

Guess what all you haters, scorners, disbelievers, I am part of a statistic, and no... not one of those "don't have sex" program statistics that say X percentage of teenage mothers actually attend school. I am part of the statistic "percentage of college students that don't abuse alcohol or drug." So yeah, I may not be living your or your parents idea of a "real" college experience, but sometimes, I believe that I live a more fulfilling experience than half of the students around me. I may not spend my weekend getting drunk or going to parties, I may not sleep until noon on a Saturday, but my weekend is just, if not more, exciting and fulfilling as yours. I get to spend my weekends watching my boys learn and grow, watching them interact with their father, watching their unconditional love spread to everyone they meet - of course this is between squeezing in homework during nap time. I love my weekends, and NEVER put me in the category of a careless teenager who "screwed up" and has two kids. I didn't screw up, and what came of my actions were worth one hundred times the weight of the initial actions.

So here is my reality. I'm not that teenage mother who messed up. I'm part of the TWO PERCENT of women who had their children under the age of 21 who will get their college degree by the age of thirty - and I actually will graduate with everyone else my age. My reality is that when you look at me with judgment, I smile back and believe that you are thinking how beautiful my boys are and how lucky they are to have two parents that love them beyond belief. My reality is that I'd rather sit at home on a Saturday night playing hide and seek with Caleb and Tyler than drink myself to sickness, and I'd rather look at the pictures Caleb took when he stole me camera for the rest of my life than pictures of a drunken party I would never remember. My reality is THIS is my reality - My fiancé, my boys, my life. Love me or hate me - guess what. It's still me.









And those are my boys... Joey, Caleb, Tyler. And then me, the mommy. Pictures -- courtesy of Caleb.

So you get somewhat of an idea...

I know I told you all about my views on grief counseling, well the reason I went to grief counseling is because of the man in this video. I made this slide show for my best friend the week after her dad, who I call my "adopted father" or "daddy #2" passed away on October 27th, 2006. So maybe you'll get somewhat of an idea how I felt ... "Miss you here, see you there."

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com